Traveling back in time

This morning, I woke up at 6.30am by my granny to head to Lai Chi Wo- our ancestors village. She told me that we’re going back to visit the home where she brought up my parents and where my great grandparents also once lived. 

We had to buy a chicken (lol?), a bottle of alcohol (lolol?), candles, herng (not sure what u call it in english but it’s the stuff that chinese ppl use to worship? I have no idea =_=) and also the ‘hell clothing & paper”.

A lot of chinese ppl believe that when you burn these ‘hell outfits & money’, it can be spent ‘down below’ a.k.a. the different world. I don’t believe in this but I care a lot about my granny and if it makes her happy- I would support her and help her out with whatever she needs to do.

I only had about 4-5 hours in the past 2 days so I was feeling shivery all morning. Funny thing was when we were on the boat (full of chinese grannies)- it was MEGA MEGA LOUD. You know grannies chit chattering about everything under the sun. But when we approached the land- everybody went silent.

We arrived to Lai Chi Wo and granny started talking to herself saying everything has changed…. Of course it has! It’s been 50 years right? She got teary eyed and we made our way through the village and headed to our ancestors house.

It broke her heart that we cannot enter the house because my dad lost the keys. We just stood outside and started, well… burning the ‘stuff’ for great grandparents, great aunts and uncles’ etc. She took me to the fields where she farmed and even went ‘star fruit picking’. By picking- she found a super long bamboo stick and started to SHOVE the trees smacking the star fruits down.

Then we went to more ‘shrines’ where she burnt some ‘hell money’ to the ‘gods’. I asked her ‘Why would a god need cash?’ lol….

Then more chinese old people arrived and we all sat under the shelter thingie where they talked. 

I listened to granny tell her ‘brothers and sisters’ (everybody in the village call each other brothers n sisters), “When my husband left the world- I came back here and just cried by myself in the ancestors house…. I feel lonely without him”.

I felt really sad hearing this and realised last time she visited mustve been 12 years ago and she was afraid to come here by herself and be reminded of her past with my grand father. So despite the mega tiredness- I am very glad I got to accompany her. With all the stuff we were carrying- she would’ve struggled to get everything done. After all she is just a lil granny. 

Growing up- my gran was the most scary yet loving person to me. She was violent and beat us up like there was no tomorrow lol… but now that she is getting older… it saddens me. I don’t know about you guys but I’m afraid to know what age my granny is. I see her in so much pain everyday due to age. She would get needles, medication and patches which would temporally reduce the pain but there are so many side affects. She throws up, she gets nauseous and her words end up being slurry. She isn’t like most grannies in hong kong. She grew up with her grand children because she brought all of us up. She can’t tolerate loneliness. I’m glad she’s in UK living with my parents and my siblings. I know my siblings try really hard to make peace with her because they have their own lives due to studying and work so I’m so thankful when our dog Max joined our family. 

He loves my granny with all of his heart, mind and soul. He loves accompanying my granny and everyday they go for walks together. I know dogs don’t live as long as humans but I urge gran to feed max healthily so they can both be healthy together…

I know growing old is a blessing. 

But I know old ppl tend to get depression from growing old.

I pray one day- my granny will be less pessimistic. That she will open up her heart and let go of everything that has scarred her heart. I pray that instead of feeling lonely all the time, she will realise she has a beautiful family that loves her. She was very fortunate to have met my grandad where they built life together…

When I saw her light the candle to light over candles. It reminded me of a quote. 

“One candle can light a thousand”.

To you- you yourself may seem little and can’t make a big difference. But love and happiness is contagious. The more you shine on others- the more they will feel your warmth. They will light up like a candle and spread the joy. =)

1 year ago  /  71 notes